C h a p t e r O n e
The Biblical Foundation For Loving One Another
Babies’ need touching and nurturing to live, so do adults. An elderly lady once told me that the only place where another human being ever touched her regularly was in church. She indicated it was the most important element of church life for her. I believe she speaks for a multitude of people. Our day of technology is leaving too many people isolated, alone, and lonely. Loneliness is a curse that plagues our culture. People need love and not just any kind of love; we all need the love God commands us to share with one another from the Bible.
The desperate need man has for love is fully understood by God. After all, He is the one who created us. He knows our every need. There is no other scriptural teaching as clear and strongly taught in the Bible as this one. God has commanded us to love one another and He has made it the second priority of the Christian life. Now when you consider what 1 John 4:20 says that if you say you love God and do not love one another, then you really don’t love God in the first place. This leads me to boldly state that loving one another is as much the first priority as loving God is. In fact, loving one another is the practical way . . .
Loving Relationships are Commanded by God
Lets consider first of all, the importance of these scriptures. In every Grace Christian Fellowship Church, we are all committed to our first doctrine that “the Bible is the final authority in all matters of faith and practice.” What quickly surfaces as you look at these passages is that loving one another is not an option for the Christian. It is mandatory. It is a part of the standard operating procedure of the Christian life! The Lord understands how vitally important this matter is for His followers so He has commanded us to love one another in no uncertain terms. The importance of these scriptures must be taken seriously.
Jesus indicates that all other matters of the Christian life hang on to this. It seems clear that to the degree we are able to make application of this command in our life, it’s impact on all other matters will follow suit. In other words, when we love others well, other matters will be done well. If we do a poor job at loving others, God will also evaluate our performance in all other areas as poor. As scripture indicates, man looks on the external nature but God examines the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). We may look good to others, but God is the real judge of our life. His approval is ultimately of greatest concern. If we miss this matter of loving one another then the rest of our Christian life and work is of little or no value!
I am reminded of a particular Little League baseball team I coached. The season was not one of our best, but one of the last games we played I’ll never forget. The opposing team was one of the best in the league and our boys were playing their hearts . . .
C h a p t e r F o u r
Forgiving One Another
(Colossians 3:13; Ephesians 4:32)
. . . . Let me ask you a simple question. What is the main ingredient in chocolate chip cookies? Um, you are right, chocolate chips! Let’s try another one. What’s the main ingredient in peanut butter? You’re right; I can’t fool you, peanuts! Chocolate chip cookies without chocolate chips are only just cookies. Peanut butter without peanuts is nothing but butter. Removing the main ingredient completely changes an object. It has in some sense, lost it’s purpose for being.
When it comes to the matter of loving one another, forgiveness is the main ingredient! Forgiving one another is the center focus of love. Love without forgiveness is something far away from the love of God we find in Jesus. Forgiveness is right in the center of love! Listen to a couple of these quotes from famous people from the past: “To understand everything means to forgive everything,” a French proverb. Mark Twain wrote, “Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mahatma Gandhi said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Finally, Francois Duc De La Rochefoucauld, a Frenchwriter in the 1600’s recorded, “One forgives to the degree that one loves.”
The need for giving and receiving forgiveness is a well understood fact in our society. In fact, history bears out this need in every known civilization.
People are somewhat like porcupines in their emotional nature. The sinful nature we all partake of causes us to be sharp around the edges as well as quite sensitive deep inside. Of course there are some that are more than others. The closer we get to one another, the more potential of sticking and hurting one another. This is why so many people feel safe in a distant relationship with others. They have experienced hurt in other relationships and now they live guarded, distant and isolated. There is an old saying that states, “Better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at. . .
. . . It is important though for us to consider what forgiveness is not. This can clear up the meaning of what Paul is calling us to do in these verses. There are 8 particular factors to give attention to. We can clearly state that forgiveness is not:
1. A feeling – Too many people get caught up in believing they must feel something internally before they can forgive. If there is no feeling involved, there is no forgiveness given. Forgiveness is an act of the will, a choice to make, not a feeling to experience!
2. A healing – Just because you have released someone from your bitter judgment in forgiving him or her, does not mean automatically that healing can be experienced in that hurt. Healing really is a separate experience. It is true that emotional healing cannot occur without forgiveness, but understand that forgiveness is only the first step in emotional healing. In other words, you can forgive and still feel hurt and pain associated with the matter. If you do, than you need someone who can help you obtain healing beyond the fact you have chosen to forgive.
3. Pretending the offense didn’t matter – I have witnessed many people both young and old who refuse to forgive another because they feel like if they choose to forgive than they would have to act or believe the offense meant little or nothing. The truth of the matter is that whatever. . .
